


Are You Receiving Me?

by BadLuckBlueEyes



Category: The Martian (2015), X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Canon Disabled Character, Crack, Crack Crossover, Gen, Mars, Potatoes, charles is so helpful, mark watney hates mars, mars sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:28:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadLuckBlueEyes/pseuds/BadLuckBlueEyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s been alone for 60 sols, so he’s pretty used to the solitude. Of course, the last thing Mark Watney was expecting was a voice in his head. He’s not going crazy, right?</p><p>Crackfic where Charles Xavier makes friends with Mark Watney</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Receiving Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This follows the events from the movie, but I used the book for the Sol numbers, so if there's stuff that doesn't match up to the movie, that's why. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Sol 60

Mark finished checking his potato plants and headed for his bunk, stretching out after a long day of keeping himself the fuck alive on Mars. He was done making water and the potatoes were growing nicely. So there was a solid chance he’d live long enough to see Earth again. 

As long as nothing else went wrong at all. 

Mark let his mind wander while he stretched, different bones and joints cracking and popping as he moved. He absentmindedly brushed his fingers over the small scar on his abdomen from when the satellite tried to murder him. 

_ Hello? _ A small british-sounding voice pinged at the front of his mind. Mark was so surprised that he fell out of his bunk, toppling over in a tangle of blankets. He lifted his head from the ground, pulling the blanket off of his face. 

“Oh, what the fuck?” He groaned, looking around. “There’s no way someone’s here, it’s Mars.”

_ Oh- I’m sorry, I’m in your mind. How do you do? _

“Oh God, is this me losing my mind?” Mark cried.

_ No, my friend. I’m Charles Xavier, I run a school in New York for mutants.  _

Mark straightened, sitting up fully. He knew that name. Charles Xavier was one of the most famous mutants in the world. 

“How are you in my head?”

_ I’m using an invention called cerebro, it allows me to reach out to the minds of other mutants. When I saw NASA’s announcement that you were still alive, I wondered how far my reach went. Apparently, it goes quite far. _

“NASA knows I’m alive?”

_ They do and they’re working on it. Tell me Mark, what is your mutation? _

“My what now?”

_ Your mutation. You’re a mutant, that’s how I’m able to reach you over such a long distance. _

“Oh, shit, I don’t know,” Mark leaned against his bunk. “Are you sure I’m a mutant?”

_ I’m positive. Mutant minds read a little differently than human ones. And if you were baseline, I definitely wouldn’t be able to reach you. I can’t hear any of your crewmates on the Hermes either. So, you must be a mutant. You had no idea? _

“Nope,” Mark said. He didn’t know where to look while he talked to someone in his mind.

_ It must be something subtle, because NASA would have known otherwise.  _

“Yeah,” Mark agreed. Then he thought about it for a few minutes. “I’m way better than my crewmates at handling the heavy endurance stuff. Like, I feel great all the time and they’re always wiped out. And I ripped my side open and it healed in like two days. Is it that?”

_ I think it might be. If so, then your mutation saved your life. _

“Well shit,” Mark scratched his head and grinned. “That’s pretty cool, then.”

 

Sol 66

Mark was driving the rover in circles around the hab the next time Charles popped in. 

_ Hello? _

Mark jumped, almost crashing the rover in surprise.

_ I hope I haven’t scared you. _

“No, no, it’s good,” Mark panted. “I’m good. You only terrified me is all.”

_ I do apologize. I didn’t mean to surprise you like that. _

“I didn’t really think you were coming back,” Mark replied, resuming his driving. “It’s been a few sols.”

_ It’s quite tricky to reach you. I’ve been working on some modifications to make this less of a strain. I think I’ve got it figured out though. The only problem is, I don’t know when the best time to reach out is.  _

“Right now is good,” Mark said, grinning. 

_ I’ll make a note of that. This is the time to say hello, then. _

“Yup,” Mark agreed, glad that he suddenly had a friend in the fucking lonely abyss that was Mars.

 

Sol 76

Mark was heading toward Pathfinder when he felt a warm burst at the back of his mind, indicating that Charles was present. They’d worked out a system after the last time Charles had popped in, surprising Mark again and leading to him nearly blowing up the hab. 

“Hey Charles,”

_ Hello, my friend. How is your expedition going? _

“Peachy. I’m driving in a cramped car and if I wanted to go outside for a pee break I’d die,”

_ Well, when you put it that way… _

“It’s not so bad, honestly,” Mark chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Hopefully this gives me a way to talk to NASA.”

_ Yes, about that. Do you want me to reach out? I could contact them and let everyone know that I’m able to reach you.  _

“Yeah, about that…” Mark echoed Charles, swallowing uncomfortably. “I thought about that. I don’t think you should right away. Because then you’d have NASA in your house and we’d both get grilled about mutation and it would be a royal pain in the ass. Right now, I’ve got a system worked out and if this pathfinder thing doesn’t work, then maybe you should so they can help me stay alive. But for now, don’t make it too hard on yourself.”

_ You’re trapped on Mars and you don’t want me to make things too hard on myself? _

“Uh… Yeah,” Mark decided.

_ Alright then. How are you getting to this satellite again? _

“Lander,” Mark corrected. “ And I have a plan. I was going to make a compass but then I remembered there are no magnetic poles, so I had to improvise. But I have a plan.”

_ No magnetic poles? _

The question was followed by a strange floating sensation that confused the shit out of Mark. 

“What’s happening?” He asked.

_ I’m laughing. I’m going to have to go tell Erik that there’s no magnetic poles on Mars. It’s going to make him angry.  _

“Who’s Erik?”

_ My husband. Also known as the former mutant rights activist Magneto. _

“Magneto?” Mark asked in shock (and more awe than he was about to admit). “The guy who shut down the entire campus for a protest during my undergrad years?”

_ His methods, while… unusual, did foster change for mutant life as we know it.  _ Charles pointed out. 

“Yeah they did,” Mark agreed. He hadn’t gone to the protest because he thought he was human at the time. He vaguely wondered how he hadn’t ever known. 

_ He’s settled down somewhat. _

“Only somewhat?” Mark asked, half nervous, half excited that he could go to a rally now. 

_ Only somewhat. _ Charles confirmed.  _ Certainly enough to marry.  _

“Well, shit,” Mark said. “That’s cool.”

 

Sol 94

Mark walked back into the hab and flopped down on his bunk as soon as he was out of his EVA suit. He hoped Charles would show up soon, he really looked forward to the visits that had become a regular thing. 

_ Congratulations on a successful trip.  _

“Thanks,” Mark stared at the ceiling of his bunk. “Couldn’t have done it without your visits.”

_ That’s not true. _ Charles protested gently.

“You kept me sane and I got to take a break from the goddamned disco. You’re a lifesaver,” Mark argued.

_ Alright.  _ Charles gave in.  _ So what now? _

“I eat a potato and do all my system checks. I need to make sure everything still works,” Mark sat up and looked around the hab, trying to decide where to start.

_ It sounds like you’ve really got everything figured out. _

Mark spent five minutes laughing while Charles somehow sighed in his brain.

“Yeah. I’ve got it figured out. Good one,” Mark winced. “Ooh okay, I think I pulled something laughing. Shit,”

_ Joke’s on you.  _

 

Sol 97

_ So, NASA got back to you? _

“They did,” Mark whooped. 

_ I saw. I stopped in a few minutes ago, but you were weeping like a little girl so I decided to give you some space. _

“Hey, I just made human contact! I haven’t heard from anyone in months!” Mark protested.

_ What am I, then?  _ Charles sounded vaguely insulted. But, Mark considered, he had that accent and he was really good at doing that all the time. 

“Oh, fuck. Okay, they’re the second person,” Mark corrected.

_ Organization. _

“Whatever,” Mark scoffed. “But now they’re going to help me stay alive.”

_ That is good. _ Charles agreed.  _ Did you really need to say that disco sucks, though? _

“Yes. Absolutely,” Mark said firmly.

_ I think it’s groovy.  _

“You did not just say that. Oh my god, you did not just-” Mark turned in a circle, exasperated. “Motherfucker, did you really just call  _ disco _ , the shittiest music known to man,  _ groovy _ ?”

_ I like it.  _

“You can listen to whatever you want,” Mark retorted. “When you’re stuck with it, that’s when you’ll change your mind.”

_ I doubt it.  _ Charles had the fucking audacity to sound smug.

“Gahh,” Mark said, at a loss for words.

 

Sol 122

Mark typed furiously, even though it was still going to take JPL forever to get back to him. 

“Gay probe coming to get me, got it,” he said aloud as he typed his response.

Charles popped in long enough to hear that, sighed eternally, and popped back out.

 

Sol 192

“They’re coming back for me, do you know how incredible that is?” Mark asked Charles.

_ I’m well aware. You should see the news anchors talking about it.  _

“Oh well, forgive me for not tuning in to NBC right now,” Mark mocked. 

Charles sighed. He did that a lot, Mark realized. 

_ Your stay will be cut short. _ Charles observed. 

“Yeah it will,” Mark agreed, jumping up and down a little in excitement. 

_ What do you plan on doing when you get back to Earth? _ Charles asked.

“Haven’t thought about it. The first thing is not potatoes,” he mused.

_ Forgive me for sounding selfish, but I’d like to meet you in person. _

“Oh, yeah, I figured that was kind of a given, seeing as you’re my only friend in space,” Mark replied.

_ I’m the only one who talks to you in real time. _

“Yeah, but you don’t have to. You keep coming back to talk and so I have to visit you and stuff,” Mark argued. 

_ I look forward to it.  _

 

Sol 194

_ I have a question.  _ Charles said after a lull in their conversation. Mark didn’t stop drilling holes in the rover.

“Okay, so ask it,” he replied, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

_ What is space like? Well... I suppose what I mean to ask is about the weightlessness when you’re in space. How does it feel? _

Charles asked the question almost hesitantly. Mark realized that Charles was always so focused on trying to help him however possible that he didn’t really ask too many questions about the missions and things. 

Mark thought about it for a few minutes.

“It’s… I don’t really know how to describe it, really. It’s amazing. Like you’re floating or flying or something. And it’s cool. I like floating around. But it can be bad for you. Lots of people need glasses after going up in space and stuff and your muscles can start to atrophy,” he paused. “Not all fun and games, you know? But still fun.”

_ I think I’d love it. I’m certainly not as worried about losing muscle mass as some people. _

Mark frowned at that last part, trying to figure out what Charles meant. He vaguely remembered seeing something in the news a year or so before his launch about the heir to the Xavier fortune being in some kind of horrific car crash. The kid had been in a coma or something last Mark heard. He hadn’t really paid much attention to it. 

A moment later he put two and two together and realized that  _ that kid _ was Charles. 

“Oh shit,” Mark said out loud. 

_ I suppose that’s one way to think about it. I’m sorry, I thought you knew. I’ve yet to meet someone who hadn’t seen the story. _ There was an edge of amusement to Charles’ tone. 

At least Charles wasn’t angry with him, Mark thought. He didn’t really want to lose his only friend. 

_ I’m not angry, my friend _ . Charles confirmed for him.

“Weren’t you in a coma or something?” Mark asked.

_ Yes. I’ve since recovered from that. _

“Yeah, I figured that much out. But you’re fine now, right?”

_ I’m not much one for walking anymore, but other than that, yes.  _ The edge of amusement slipped away.

“Oh. Right,” Mark remarked. Charles had literally just said something about atrophying muscles not being a problem. “What happened?”

_ I was on my way to run some errands. A drunk driver had other ideas about how I was going to spend my day. _

Charles’ voice sounded clipped, like he didn’t want to talk about it. Mark decided to stop probing. 

“It’s a good thing your powers still work. It’s nice having someone to talk to,” Mark said, changing the subject a little.

_ I’m happy to help.  _

He sounded happier. That was good, Mark figured.

“Too bad you can’t help me find new ways to eat potatoes.”

_ I might be able to help with that, actually. _

“What? You’re shitting me,” Mark almost dropped his drill. 

_ The next time you’re getting ready for a meal and I stop by, I might be able to make you think you’re eating something else. _

“There’s no way you can do that.” Mark raised his eyebrows. “Is there?”

_ Well my friend, talking is one thing. Cerebro expands my range so I can hear you and engage with you, but I haven’t tried influencing anyone to do anything from such a distance. I don’t know if I can. And I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed if I couldn’t. _

“Can we try?” Mark immediately hated how desperate he sounded.

_ I can try. How long until your next meal? I’ll do my utmost to be there.  _

“Is this a date?” Mark joked lamely.

_ Perhaps if I wasn’t already married to my favorite person, it might be, _ Charles retorted.

 

Sol 381

Even though Charles wasn’t able to help resolve the getting-sick-of-potato crisis that was Mark’s life, he still appreciated the effort. And he really appreciated that Charles talked to him as often as he did. 

Mark still sort of wished Charles had been able to trick him into thinking that his potatoes were anything else. But apparently, at that range, it was too much.

Talking was good enough, he liked talking. Charles talked to him every few sols and he looked forward to it. 

_ I look forward to talking to you too.  _ Charles appeared and Mark jumped a little, shaking his head to dispel whatever memory he had slipped into. _I apologize for seeming rude, but I caught your last thought when I stopped by._

“Have you ever thought about Martian Law?” Mark went right to what he was thinking about before Charles had arrived.

_ I beg your pardon? _

“Laws. Because there are no laws here.” He briefly went on to explain his thinking before concluding, “So that makes me a pirate. A  _ space _ pirate. How fucking cool is that?”

_ It’s fascinating, I agree. _ Charles sounded amused. 

“I want you to call me Captain Blondbeard,” Mark leaned back in his seat and folded his hands behind his head. 

_ How about no? _   Charles retorted.

“You sound like me. Am I rubbing off on you?” Mark asked, laughing.

_ There’s some potential that you might be.  _

“You’re so fucked,” Mark laughed again.

 

Sol 412

Mark was dozing off when Charles’ voice appeared in his head. 

“Hello?”

_ Hello, my friend. How have you been today? _

“Today sucked. Every day sucks. Can I ask you a weird question?” 

_ Of course. _

Mark’s mouth watered slightly as he thought about it. All he’d eaten for days was potatoes. 

“What did you have for dinner? Just, like… tell me about it?”

There was a silence so long that Mark wondered if Charles had taken off the cerebro helmet. 

_ Well. _ The voice sounded concerned and a little… worried?

“What?” Mark asked, staring at the ceiling. 

_ I actually had leftover mashed potatoes. _

“What?”

_ The only thing I ate for dinner was potatoes. I’m a terrible cook and Erik hadn’t made anything for dinner so I grabbed some leftovers from the fridge. I’m sorry. _

“Motherfucker!” He yelled, kicking the bunk above him. “You’ve gotta be shitting me, are you for real?”

_ I’m afraid I am. I do apologize. _

“Fuck!” Mark yelled. “Why didn’t you lie and tell me that you had roast beef or some shit. You had to tell the fucking truth? Are you fucking serious?”

_ It didn’t occur to me to lie.  _ Charles sent the impression of a mental shrug.  _ Besides, wouldn’t it just make you angry if I described the pizza I had for lunch in detail? _

“It would if it wasn’t Chicago pizza,” Mark growled. 

_ I’ll refrain from describing it, then.  _

Mark swore again and angrily eyed his potato dinner.

 

Sol 449

Mark patted the hab once before heading to the rover. 

“To Schiaparelli!” He pumped his fist a few times. 

_ Indeed. _ Charles agreed.  _ This is it. _

“It’s crazy to think that I’m never coming back,” Mark admitted, looking over his shoulder as he got into the rover. “Thanks again for being here while I left. I didn’t want it to be too lonely.”

_ I completely understand. It was really not a problem.  _

“Groovy,” Mark found himself saying before he could stop himself.

_ Ha! Now who’s rubbing off on who? _

“I’m not the one who says groovy like we’re trapped in the 70s,” Mark rolled his eyes and climbed into the rover.

“This is it,” he said. 

 

Sol 529

As Mark got to work tearing the MAV to pieces, Charles laughed at him. 

“You shouldn’t laugh, I’m getting launched into space in a spaceship without a fucking top on it. Do you know how much that sucks?”

_ I’ve heard a thing or two, yes.  _

“Ha ha,” Mark threw a seat out the window. “I know, all I do is complain at you.”

_ Not quite, you did once command that I call you Captain Blondbeard. _

“It was such a good pirate name,” Mark shook his head and tossed out the next seat. 

_ I won’t be able to be there during your launch.  _

“Wait, what?” Mark asked, straightening. 

_ I can’t handle the strain of your launch all the way back here. I’ll be watching with everyone else in the world, but I won’t be in your mind. As soon as you’re safe I’ll say hi. _

“I guess that makes sense,” Mark tried not to sound disappointed, but that was pointless because Charles could hear his thoughts. His very disappointed thoughts. His incredibly bummed out, disappoint-

_ I can hear all of your thoughts and I will not let you guilt me into hurting myself.  _ Charles cut him off.

“Okay, fair,” Mark agreed.

 

Sol 548

“This is fucking terrifying,” Mark growled. “And, like, way fucked up.”

_ I can’t argue there. _ Charles agreed. But your launch is tomorrow, so why don’t you sleep?

“Ha, yeah, like I’m going to be able to sleep through the night,” Mark rolled his eyes. 

_ Would you like some help with that? I can make you fall asleep right now, but you’ll sleep lightly enough to get up in time for the launch. _

Mark hesitated. 

“I’ll be up for the launch?”

_ I wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t absolutely sure.  _

“Yeah, knock me out, I guess. I’ll see you on the flip side,”

_ I wish you the best of luck, Captain Blondbeard.  _

Before Mark could say anything else, he relaxed and dropped off into a light, pleasant sleep.

 

Day 12

Once Mark finally got the NASA bureaucrats off of his back and finally saw his parents again, he hopped on a plane to New York. He knew Charles knew he was coming, they had been in contact the whole trip back and for the few days Mark was on Earth. 

As he took a cab up the long and winding driveway, Charles appeared in his mind.

_ Hello, my friend.  _

“Does your driveway have a fucking end?” He asked, and Charles laughed. 

_ You’re nearly there, I promise you. _ Charles reassured him. Mark sighed and Charles withdrew. A minute later, they arrived in front of a  _ literal fucking mansion _ and Mark gasped. 

“Holy shit,” He exhaled as he paid the cabbie and jogged to the ramp leading up the mansion. The front door opened as he was heading over and a young man in a wheelchair appeared at the top of the ramp. 

“It’s good to finally meet you in person,” Charles said as Mark approached. They stayed there for a moment, taking in each other’s appearances. After talking for so long, Mark figured Charles might know him better than anyone else. And they never discussed appearances besides the fact that Charles was paralyzed. Sure, Charles had probably seen pictures, but Mark knew he looked different now. He was thinner and had a new pair of glasses. He still looked like he had been through hell. Cold, desolate, Martian hell.

“Huh,” Mark grunted as he realized all of that. 

“Yes, I just had a similar realization,” Charles agreed. “But enough of that, come in. I’ll put the kettle on.” He turned around and waved Mark in. They crossed through a cavernous entry hall and Mark whistled, cackling as it echoed around. 

“Erik, for god’s sake, put that potato salad away,” Charles suddenly called as they headed towards what had to be the kitchen. Mark’s stomach churned uneasily as he thought about potatoes.

“I didn’t know that he was here!” A voice called back from the kitchen. 

“He’s lying, he knew you were here before I did. He was tracking the cab,” Charles informed Mark.

“Okay, so I forgot that potatoes were bad,” A man in a black turtleneck appeared in the doorway, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms. 

“Hello,” he greeted coolly, eyeing Mark. “Welcome back to Earth.”

“Thanks,” Mark said awkwardly.

“Be nice,” Charles grumbled. “Mark, this is Erik. Erik, you’ve heard all about Mark.”

“Of course,” Erik nodded, extending one hand. Mark shook it, feeling a little awed that he was standing next to one of the most powerful mutants on the planet. 

“It’s, uh, it’s cool to meet you,” Mark stumbled over his words and decided that shutting up was the best thing to do. 

Next to them, Charles beamed. 

“So, are you glad to be back?” Charles asked, heading past Erik into the kitchen. 

“Okay, I know there are no stupid questions, but that’s a stupid question,” Mark followed Charles. Behind them, Erik barked a laugh and disappeared into another room.

“But yeah, I’m pretty damn glad to be back home,” Mark finished. 

“I’m glad you made it back safely,” Charles said as he got supplies for tea ready. 

“Yeah. Me too,” Mark agreed, taking a seat and glancing around the kitchen. “I’m pretty excited for what’s next.”

“What’s next?” Charles asked curiously.

“I wanted to study mutation a little bit. I’m done with space and I want to learn something new. Like how to teach mutants to survive in space,”

“Oh, that’s wonderful,” Charles grinned.

“I think it’ll be pretty cool,” Mark agreed. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t say groovy,” Charles replied. 

Mark groaned and buried his face in his arms. Apparently some things never changed.

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Mags. Merry Christmas!


End file.
